Let's Talk About ENVY

Moody Talk Envy #1: Descriptive Words, Sensations and Actions

Welcome to our first Moody Talk on Envy!

Envy is such a strange emotion simply for the fact that it is considered a negative feeling but actually can be quite positive, as well. Let’s admit it, we DON’T want to admit when we are envious, but if you think about it - Envy can be a GREAT motivator! It’s about wanting what someone else has - and if they can have it, can’t you too? 💚

As I always do in our first Moody Talk, I discuss the descriptive words we use when we feel Envious. I think it’s really important that we understand the words we use and how intense they are for us. By using the Word Scale, you can rate the intensity of the word which comes in handy when you choose how to cope with it. If it’s mild, then maybe it’s just sitting with that feeling and asking why you are feeling it. If it’s intense then what coping skill can you use to help with the distress you are feeling. I also discuss the type of body sensations we have, and some actions we take when feeling that Envy.

Just before creating this video, I was looking at the worksheets and realizing that I chose a lot of negative words, actions and sensations. I talk more about how it’s really a neutral emotion - so watch the video and let me know how you feel about Envy as a neutral emotion.

As always, if you have any questions or comments about this month’s emotion, please don’t hesitate to comment below! If you would like to discuss a specific aspect of Envy, please let me know. Leave a comment or send me a DM! 🙏

If you are having a hard time coping with your emotions or you feel hopeless, I hope you will reach out to a trusted loved one, your doctor/therapist or the 988

Song: RedLionProduction - Beautiful Moment

Music provided by Tunetank.

Free Download: https://tunetank.com/track/450-beautiful-moment/

Worksheets:

Descriptive Words Blank Words

Body Sensations Actions

Moody Talk Envy #2: Envy and Secondary Emotions

This week we are discussing how Envy can lead to other or Secondary emotions. Many times our mind will move us quickly through a primary emotion to a secondary emotion in order to protect us. For example, when I feel Fear, my mind immediately jumps to Anger because I feel more in control when I am angry. It's just something I learned early in life and my mind rockets me to the secondary emotion as a threat response.

Other times a primary emotion can become toxic and that emotion causes you to feel the secondary emotion rather than the initial one. With Envy, you may be steeping in that feeling negatively for a while until you only feel another emotion instead, like Sadness.

I go over four secondary emotions that could be triggered by Envy. I mainly use the example of someone being able to do something easier than you do, even though you work very hard to get to what you want. It can cause you not only to feel, but act on those other emotions like talking down about the person to other people they know.

If you are having a hard time coping with your emotions or you feel hopeless, I hope you will reach out to a trusted loved one, your doctor/therapist or the 988 suicide text hotline. You are not alone. You are loved 🌈

Worksheet:

Envy and Secondary Emotions

Moody Talk Envy #3: Is there an Antidote for Envy?

This week we question if there is a magic pill that can cure our Envy? Quick answer - No. But there are questions we can ask ourselves that could help to put it in perspective.

It really comes down to deciding if the one thing a person has that you don’t is worth giving up your own self to have it. Does it make them any better than you? Would you switch places with this person for what makes you envious of them? Do you know anything about them other than the envy you feel for them?

These questions can help to realize that being envious of something others has may not mean their lives are any better than yours.

So listen in and let me know if any of these questions can help you to “cure” your envy.

Worksheet:

Antidote questions

Moody Talk Envy #4: How Social Media Effects Envy

For our final Moody Talk on Envy, we’re going to talk about how social media can cause our Envy antenna to go a little crazy 🤪

Do you scroll through your Facebook feed and see all the wonderful things that are going on in the lives of those you are “friends” with? And when I say friends I mean not just the people you stay in contact with but also the random people you end up connected to because of networking or friends of friends. Because we all know that we don’t know 800 people who mean so much to us. What about your Instagram feed or your TikTok “For You” page? Those social media sites don’t even necessarily need a “connection” to those you see. You’re watching people you have no connection with AT ALL.

So what happens to our Envy meter when we scroll for a few minutes (or hours) through the videos and pictures other people post of their AMAZING lives? We may not even notice what kind of toll it takes on our emotions - and why scrolling these sites can be damaging to our mental health.

So what should we do? Well, one choice would be disconnect! And if not a disconnect, maybe going back to our idea of an “antidote” for Envy.