Let's Talk About ANGER
Moody Talk Anger #1: Descriptive Words and Body Sensations
Welcome to this month's Moody Talk about Anger - which I think is the most misunderstood emotion.
Many times we are afraid of feeling angry or we were told it wasn't appropriate to feel it. When I was young I was afraid to show anger because I was punished for it. I was told - Don't be an Angry girl or don't make people uncomfortable even when they deserved to feel discomfort because I had a valid reason for feeling it. Anger tells us that something is wrong - maybe someone or something is being taken from us or is being threatened. It tells us when our boundaries have been crossed. It is A VALID EMOTION.
Today I'm starting off how I do each month - looking at words we use to describe Anger and where those words fit on our intensity scale. When we recognize that we are using a word in the moment, we can understand just how intensely we are feeling that emotion. I also describe the body sensations we feel when we are Angry.
As always, if you have any questions or comments about this month’s emotion, please don’t hesitate to comment below! If you would like to discuss a specific aspect of Anger, please let me know.
If you are having a hard time coping with your emotions or you feel hopeless, I hope you will reach out to a trusted loved one, your doctor/therapist or the 988 suicide text hotline. You are not alone. You are loved.
Worksheets:
Moody Talk Anger #2: Check the Facts (again)
This week's talk is about a DBT skill called Check the Facts and I have found it so helpful in my daily life. Last week we discussed descriptive words for Anger as well as Body Sensations we feel when angry. When Checking the Facts, it's important to be descriptive when recounting a situation that is making you feel some kind of way. This allows us to step back and ask important questions such as "is what I think happened actually what happened?" and "does how I feel right now actually fit the situation?"
These questions are especially important when you are jumping from a "primary" emotion to a "secondary" one. Maybe you are feeling scared but you tend to jump to anger (this is me ALL the time) because it feels safer or maybe you were conditioned to in childhood or in a stressful life situation.
As always, if you have any questions or comments about this month’s emotion, please don’t hesitate to comment below! If you would like to discuss a specific aspect of Anger, please let me know.
If you are having a hard time coping with your emotions or you feel hopeless, I hope you will reach out to a trusted loved one, your doctor/therapist or the 988 suicide text hotline. You are not alone. You are loved.
Worksheets:
Moody Talk #3 Anger: Using "DEAR MAN" During an Argument
In my past Moody Talks about Emotions, I have focused mostly on personal coping skills to use when the emotion is too much. With Anger I wanted to discuss a great DBT skill that helps with Interpersonal Communication because many times we get angry or frustrated while having a conversation.
DEAR MAN is an anagram which is kind of like a map by using each letter to signify a step in the process. With this skill, you can have more meaningful conversations without letting the emotion you are feeling get in the way.
It's difficult to turn to skills when you are in the heat of the moment - believe me, I know! That's why I suggest going through the steps while not in an argument. Maybe pick an old fight you had and use the steps to see how you may have had a better conversation. Don't pick a difficult memory! Just an average argument that wasn't life changing!
As always, if you have any questions or comments about this month’s emotion, please don’t hesitate to comment below! If you would like to discuss a specific aspect of Anger, please let me know.
If you are having a hard time coping with your emotions or you feel hopeless, I hope you will reach out to a trusted loved one, your doctor/therapist or the 988 suicide text hotline. You are not alone. You are loved.
Worksheets:
Moody Talk #4 Anger: Using T.I.P. when "Just Breathe" isn't working
For our final Moody Talk on Anger, I wanted to talk about the elephant in the room... 🐘
Sometimes our anger just gets out of control - you are on the high end of your anger intensity scale and you need to step back to give yourself a little self care. DBT uses the anagram T.I.P. to give a few suggestions to help get out of that intense anger energy so you can calm down and go back to what makes you angry later when you are less frustrated.
Through body sensation changes you can take the focus of the tough topic and focus on your own needs. NOTE: Not all of these coping skills will help everyone. For example - I LOATHE the first method of this set. I'll give you a clue: 🥶 But I tried it and realized there are other ways I can help myself calm down.
As always, if you have any questions or comments about this month’s emotion, please don’t hesitate to comment below! If you would like to discuss a specific aspect of Anger, please let me know.
If you are having a hard time coping with your emotions or you feel hopeless, I hope you will reach out to a trusted loved one, your doctor/therapist or the 988 suicide text hotline. You are not alone. You are loved.
Worksheets:
